Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
