If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
