I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the raccoons are back...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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