So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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