Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
