Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Vodka?
Forever.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
