so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Couch. On fire.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
