Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
