Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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