random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
