I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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