bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
