I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
