She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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