Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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