Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
