# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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