on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
