The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
