you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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