I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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