Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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