If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
