Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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