They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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