C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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