tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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