Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize