How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
