everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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