And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
two words: eviction party
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
