I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize