my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
