I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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