Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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