i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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