you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
