CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
