who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize