I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
