Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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