he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
