I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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