i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize