ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
