You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
