you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
