i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
