Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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