Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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