This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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