the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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