ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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