i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
