And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
