evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
