its not stalking. its research.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
