i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
