You just made me feel so damn special
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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