I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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