I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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