so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
