so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
