Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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