No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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