Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
