I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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