can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
