Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
