I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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