he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
