I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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