I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
