just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
