I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
