Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
