Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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