people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
