Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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