Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
