I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
