Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
